I am glad that i have my mother to offer me a help last 2 nights, so i could have uninterrupted sleep for at least 2 hours before the midnight, then i would take care of the baby by my own after the midnight so that my mother could have her sleep too. Life is always good with a mother around, but sometimes i felt very shameful to stay here as i knew that i have been causing a lot of inconvenience for them. My mother used to sleep around 9pm, but now she only managed to go to her bed after 12 midnight, just because i am staying here with 3 kids. And because of me, she is hard to go out now because she knows i won't be able to take care of 3 kids by my own. See, i even make her less freedom. Due to the spreading of H1N1, she has even offered me to take care my baby in Sabah while the boys and me are back to CN. I am still contemplating, not bringing the baby back is wise too, but i have to stop breastfeeding if i don't bring her back together. Really a dilemma!