Saturday, April 18, 2009

I wanted to strangle him

I really felt like strangling him just now, though i didn't do it but i gave him a very good whipping because i simply couldn't control myself. I asked him to leave the house asap, and i really meant it! I don't know why i could have such a boy who always drives me nuts and he is indeed a stubborn boy who doesn't afraid of whipping. No matter what approaches i used, soft or hard, he still acts the same! I am kind of losing patience with him, that's why i had a mind that i wanted to strangle him. Every morning i wake up with tiredness body, then follow by a day long torture of the boys, i tell you, i really feel mental distress ever since i came back from China. I don't feel like being a mother anymore as i am incapable for upbringing a good child, i have been using a lot of harsh words on him although sometimes i hate to be a mad mother who is always screaming and shouting at my kids, but other than screaming and shouting, i really have no idea what is the best method to stop my anger as well as to stop my son's frenzy behavior. My mother keeps on telling me to control my temper as there is still another baby inside me, but tell me how to control myself as i still have to deal with a problem boy everyday! I don't wish to say those cursing words, but when my blood boils with anger, i really hate him! I have kept reminding myself i should have remembered those days when he brought me joys especially when he was still a little and fragile baby so that the joyous could calm down my anger, but it's just impossible as now i feel like the hate is more than the joyous.


Baby Darren said...

Oh...I can totally understand your feelings as I do have moments like that too.

Lately I've read a book regarding child raring is fun. It stated that sometimes the reason why we lost our cool and patience is because we lack of self care like

1. not enough sleep
2. not enough personal time to do things that we like
3. too tired of taking care of kids whole day

As I want to add to your condition..u are heavily pregnant at 37 weeks make it worse and the hormones too. Also, u may be missing the support from ur hubby.

Is it possible that u can get some help from ur family to help taking care of the kids few hrs a day, so that u have a good break away from kids or a good rest/nap??

Also, if u ever have this angry feelings again, try to walk away and get someone to take over ur kids. Let them be...well...when it reaches a point that u urself feel cannot control him/situation, try to let him be. When u are feeling better, then u can slowly discipline him again.

Try to maintain cool and calm by listening to music or do some meditation. Thinking of their young sweet moments will never work when u are so emotionally drain out. So, just go to the room and visualise urself (alone) at a beach/mountain or a beautiful place. I will do that when I am losing my patience. To add it up, I even on the fan and I sit in front of the fan with my ipod and headphone on. This will calm me down.

U can email me if u need someone to talk to -

Take care and hope u have a good week ahead.

A gift from God said...

Poor you,

As mothers, we always want the best for our children. We will do anything for our children and we do not expect much in return. But when they misbehave and wouldn't listen... it hurt us so much that it makes us soooo angry.

Sometimes, no matter what we do... we just can't get the child to behave the way we want it. We are all mothers and we all know what it is like when we couldn't control our kids. I too sometimes imagine things like slapping the child and etc.... but of course I don't do it... just imagining... like you.... It's normal... you are human.... What you really need is time off. YOu need to have some 'me' time. Next time when he doesn't listen to you... just leave him...and have some 'me' time to calm down and then only reprimand the child. Whipping is not the way to go. Sometimes when something done too often it will no longer work. I know... it's tough... what you need is patience. Take care...another one is on its way... :)

Health Freak Mommy said...

I totally understand how you feel coz most times I feel this way too towards my #2, who is always driving me nuts. A holiday away from the kids or just a couple of hours away from them (like shopping) will make you feel better.
BTW, please SMS me once your baby pops out k?