For all my friends:
Thanks for all the concerns and comments that leave in my "BLUE" post, i am blessed to have you all though i never met you all. My eyes just full of tears when i was reading the comments and my MSN were so busying to pop up those chat windows. You're my friends, i am really appreciated every word and sentence that leave in my comment box, and it's so touching to have a group of cyber friends like you all. You're so far away from me, but you know well of me, even the person who is always nearby me also doesn't know me well. Anyway, i will start to think positively for my baby sake.
This was happened on Tuesday night...
While i was applying stretch mark cream on my bump,
HS - see, baby is squirming there, you try to feel it.
*no response from him*
HS - come and sayang baby la..you seldom sayang him.
H - sayang what, he can't feel me la..
HS - you put your palm on my bump la, why said he can't feel you?
H - don't want la, if i put my hand on your bump just mean my hand is on your bump, so is not sayang baby la
HS - then can you just put your hand and feel him a while?
H - no la, your tummy so greasy (he started to dream over there after he said this)
OK, i just pulled my quilt and covered myself and pretended to sleep..but i tell you, i had teary eyes again though i keep telling myself try to treat him transparent..what a man again? I don't know..maybe he just feels my tummy look very ugly as it is full of stretch marks or what..i don't know..just suddenly felt that he is so thoughtless and not the man who i supposed to love.
23 comments:
i read your blue post the other day and it left me speechless for a while. i read it for the 2nd time and 3rd time today.
the pregnancy makes you vulnerable and you try to seek assurance from the one you loved but your insentitive husband is not helping much. m'dear, i believe your hubby love you but he is just doing it in his own way.
during a hardship, my hubby tried to help me in so many other way but not on the problem and I told him " honey, i know you try to handle all other stuff so that i can concentrate on my problem but i rather you don't leave me alone with the problem...i need to deal with this problem together with you". i did make him realise something.
what i'm trying to say is your hubby could be helping to take care of all other stuff so that you can concentrate on your pregnancy but what you need is for him to go this experience with you.
tell him.
I think your hubby doesn't know how to express himself, some men are like that, perhaps a little insensitive maybe due to work pressure but I'm sure he loves you in many other ways.
My hub sometimes also say insensible things that make me mad.
I'll only be landing at HK in Sat afternoon, else you can actually bring JO to HK and we can meet up.
aiyah my hubby also "no feeling" one when i ask him to touch my tummy last time..he say..touch touch touch, no difference la...actually they dun really feel for baby coz they are not carrying baby, and cannot see baby is REAL. they only are able to feel for baby when you finally pop la!
HuiSia.. at a glance yr hubs may appear unromantic, unsensitive, and doesnt love his baby. But I'm sure that's not true cos he is working hard to provide for you, Jo and baby. Maybe that's the only way he knows to express his love.
Don't get influenced by those scenes in movies whereby the hubs will lay his ear on wife's tummy to listen to BB's heartbeat, kick what not. However in reality that's not always the case. Some men just failed in expressing all these. I am no expert but I tell u the truth there are many men out there who are much much much inconsiderate and worse than yr hubs. So give him some time to adjust. Maybe like some said, the pre-natal blues are affecting him as well? Or is he having some probs at work that's troubling him?
Importantly does he read your blog? If it's not easy to heart-2-heart talk with him, maybe encourage him to drop by the posts would help? At least he knows how you feel? I always do that when I was dating wi hubs. Email him all my feelingsss... Cheer up.
记得我怀两个孩子时，我老公从没陪我去复诊过，当时真的很羡慕其他准妈妈们有
老公陪伴，除了我孤单一个连医生都会问“你老公呢?"。那种滋味很不好受，可是
他一人打理生意很忙我知道，只能说很无奈。
我发现男人往往把女友变成老婆时，他就不再像拍拖那样体贴，关心因为他已经得
到你，但并不代表他不爱你。只是他把目标放在工作上，要努力赚钱，因为他已组
织一个家，有责任把你们照顾好。
不要想太多，孩子出生后你老公一定会像疼JO一样的疼贝比，他毕竟是孩子的爸爸。
As i say in ur previous blue post, Man are always insensitive, dun take it so hard. Agreed w M22angels, they can't really feel the baby like us, as a mother to carry the baby.
But am sure he will loves the baby more & more when he see him, feel him, carry him, touch him.....
Exactly what happened to my hub too. Relax dear and cheer up yea...
hello joshua's mum
take heart ya, God knows what you are going thru, just hang on there. Be strong for the little one inside, they can feel you. I will pray for you.
fishyoct
Hui Sia,hello again! i've never experienced being a pregnant mummy, not married also so i might not understand how u feel now! but guys are always insensitive!! my bf is a very good example! last week, i was silly, i had a big "drama" with him, had a great fight! then i was sad like u ... thought of all the silly stuff! but now,we're good again! maybe your hubby is just busy lately? he wants to work hard to earn more to welcome the baby's coming in few months? try to think the brighter side! Don't feel lonely! everytime when u start to think bout those funny things, try to distract your mind! it helps! :)
hmmm... I think he is just insensitive lar...
don't feel sad, he doesn't want to feel baby, ask Jo to, am sure Jo would gladly touch your greasy tummy.
If I can touch your tummy, I would too.....cheer up huisia dear
Huisia, don't take it to heart, i know exactly how you're feeling. Sometimes the man just can be so insensitive right? At times, i also need to remind my hubby to communicate with baby and touch my tummy. I nag and nag until he can't stand...haha :P
Maybe you can try telling your hubby your feelings, i'm sure he loves you and Jo and the little baby! Cheer up! :)
Hi Huisia, come across your blog the other about the blog on 'blue'.
Guys are still guys, they sometimes tend to be insensative to us woman. Maybe instead of keeping everything to urself, y not talk it out with you hubby? But guys normally don't really like to talk about these things.
As for myself I sometimes face problem with my Hubby over out parents matter and till today we haven really sit down n talk things out. But we are trying hard to work things out now. (:
Ur hubby is about the same as my hubby, very unromantic and unsensable person. But when things happen, they will bcum super panic den u are.
Stay Positive for the seek of ur unborn baby and urself. If you con't to be like that u will go into depression which is not healthy.
I'm sure your hubby still love all of u but maybe due to his work recently that really tired him down. U can request to go for a dating with him one of these days. (: Hope it helps
maybe you can consider the reverse psychology method - ask himwhat problems he faced and how can you help him. Maybe from there, it will lead the conversation to sort things out.
men is like that. poor in expressing. I tried this method before and it worked!
Read both your 2 blue posts just now. I am not really good at words. Hope that you cheer up and take care.
If you want a person to just listen to you online, you can msn me at iring1903@yahoo.com.sg
Take it easy. It maybe bcos you are pregnant and stuck at home with the kids. I'm sure your husband love you as much, just that he doesn't show it the way you want him to be.
My husband too didnt help much with my 2nd child and he also didnt spend as much time with her even till now. But it not bcos he doesnt love her as much as her brother. He just too tired at the end of the day to keep up with her (the younger they are the more troublesome and active they are). He did tell me if I needed help in the middle of the night, tell him otherwise he will just leave everything to me since I'm not the 1st time being a mom. Plus I being SAHM can always catch some sleep during the day but he can't - have to work.
What I'm trying to say is, maybe your husband is not the expressive type and expects you to understand what he meant since you both have been together for so long. But maybe you are sentative at this stage so whatever he said you may have taken it in the wrong way.
Men can't take hints, so whatever you want tell him straight. If you have a problem but only want him to comfort you not solve it, tell him. Otherwise they will try to solve it for you in their own way, which is not you wanted and they will get frustrated when you reject his help.
Tell him how you feel. How you need his morale support and comforting. I'm sure he will give all he can for you.
Hope your blues will be blown away soon. Take care!
Men are just so insensitive. For the 2nd pregnancy, they are just not as excited as the 1st one. Tomorrow will be better day! Do stay cheerful and take care of yourself, baby & Jo. Good thing is that Jo has been a very good boy, he loves you & didi very much.
i think it's just MEN!
they are just not so sensitive (u know lar, woman is heart, man is head)... So it's TOTALLY not because u are any less attractive...
I have heard of a fwen, that told me he dun dare to touch the wife's tummy because scared will hurt the bb, and also he feels weird about it, that the bb is growing inside the wife...
Dun so sad lar, *ang gu gu*
sad liao bb can feel it wor... be happy and jolly jolly... then bb will come out happy happy like jo also.... :D
woman, my hubby told me the exact thing. THE EXACT WORDS!!!
I think he is just insensitive a bit larr..maybe some guys are like that. Perhaps when he reads this post, he will know how much it really means to you if he sayang your bump.
Hubby's support is the most important thing when you are pregnant and taking care of your kids alone.
Cheer up! Just rant it on the blog, you will feel better, okay?
It's all well said by other mummies here, so I just want to give you my best regards and god will bless us with a smooth pregnancy & delivery, and a healthy baby.
Let's countdown together & cheer each other up! :)
Don't think so much and learn to tell yourself that ur hubby is insensitive only! Relax... and make yourself and the baby happy!!
OMG.. I think he doesnt know how to express his feeling thats why. Sometimes.. they just dont understand. Take it easy..
Another way is try tell him what u want/need. Let him know.
That is kind of cold. Haiz...
huisia, when you are online , I usually online during office hour..you can find me either yahoo, hotmail or google with ID chanelwong. Take care
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