In dilemma

I feel very angry, part of the reason is because the dropped connection, i don't have extra time ever since baby was born, don't say blog hop, even finish my pending posts also sounds hard to me. Maybe i can do my things more faster if i have very smooth connection, but i just don't have and due to this snail style connection i have to delay my work from time to time. Baby wakes up by the time the connection back to normal, then i of course would focus to the need of baby rather than sit in front of the computer. I have earned my first 5-figure from paid post, but now i feel like stop doing this. I feel guilty to neglect my kids, i feel tired, i feel stress when there is a lot of posts waiting for me to finish, i feel boring to sit in front of the computer just because i want to see there is opp popping out, i feel bad as i can't do blog hop and i don't have extra time to update my kids relevant post in my own domain. I feel stress when i don't have money, i feel stress when i able to earn, i really in dilemma, i wish to stop this but i am just hooked, i know i am not addicted to blogging, in fact, i am addicted to money. Everyone said why i need to stress myself in this way since what hubby earns is totally enough for me to use. But hubby's money is his money, some more staying here really needs a lot of money to pay this and that, though i have earned my first 5-figure since April, i can tell you frankly, i just can't see the money in my bank. You get what i mean? That's why i really don't know why i still need to keep this going...